Mira, Mira!

Life is pretty hilarious. Hilarious in that one minute you are belly-laughing and the next you’re crying your eyes out all over the same thing.

Never, ever in a million years did I imagine myself in South Florida.  I laugh when it's Christmas and I am wearing a sun dress, contemplating lying out by the pool as I watch a flock of parrots fly by my window.  I cry when I want to go 1.5 miles to the grocery store and it takes 45 minutes to get through traffic and park just for a gallon of milk.

When I lived in Mississippi I came up with a list called 'What I've Learned Living in the South".

I guess it is time to come up with one for Miami...so here goes nothing...

What I’ve Learned Living WAY DOWN SOUTH in MIAMI...

--Welcome to Northern Cuba or Northern South America...you are in the closest country to the United States.
--Middle fingers are used more than blinkers while driving.
--I-95 is hell on Earth. 
--"MIRA MIRA MIRA"...
--Everyone has a Hispanic accent...even the red-headed white guy in Wranglers. Don't try to make sense of it.
--Southern charm and hospitality doesn't travel this far south.
--Love bugs don't either.
--Without ever stepping foot out of your vehicle you can buy a cold bottle of water, fresh flowers, churros, or a solar charged dancing flower for your car's dashboard.  Talk about conveniences.
--Expensive phone+expensive car+ expensive nights out = probably still lives with parents at age 30.
--Miami is one giant breeding ground for shopping centers.  They are like bunnies that just keep multiplying.  Each shopping center will more than likely contain the following: a nail salon, a Subway, a self-serve yogurt shop, and a barber shop.
--Zombies do exist.
--Wal*Mart can close and lock its doors…at 10pm to be exact. Who knew?!

To be continued….